Saturday, June 26, 2010

Is That Keith Hernandez Pitching For The Twinkies? Oh Nope That's Just Carl Pavano.

Game 2: Twins 6 Mets 0

Pavano vs. Santana

I had worried that the Twinkies were going to come out with a vengeance at Citi Field today and what the hell why did I have to be right! I hate being right! This game was no fun at all and I'm really not going to recap it. Who wants to hear about all those Twinkies hits anyways and how much Santana stunk it up on the mound against his former squad? I sure don't. Watching it was painful enough. And the fact that I have to type that Pavano pitched a 3 hit complete game shutout is just not fair. So this is all I will really say. Santana gave up 4 runs in the first on a Mauer rbi single, a KUBEL rbi double and a 2 run double by Young. Span scored another run in the 4th and then Nieve gave up a lead off homer to Kubel in the top of the 9th. Sadly that homer given up by Nieve ended a streak of 23 1/3 scoreless innings pitched by Metsies relievers. So yeah this game today sucked big time.

But that's okay because Keith was EN FUEGO this afternoon! This made the game as enjoyable as a Metsies loss can be to watch. In the first inning Keith admitted "I'm in a goofy mood today." And yep he was. But if you are like me you love Keith when he's all GOOFY and nutty. Honestly I learned so much about him and well I'm a big fan of show and tell and sharing so I'm going to teach you all there is to know about Keith right after this teeny tiny digression. I must discuss the new addition to the Twins pitching staff, Carl Pavano's mustachio. For me I felt like I was watching that movie "Single White Female" where Jennifer Jason Leigh's character becomes obsessed with Bridget Fonda. Jen totally steals her look and is nuts. Yeah Carl Pavano is Jennifer and Keith Hernandez is Bridget.

It's freaky how much Carl now looks like the Keith of the past and well even Keith today.

Ok now that I've said that let's get to a great college course called Keith Hernandez 101:

Keith calls a loss a "LARRY."

Keith has a hard time pronouncing HYUNDAI.

Hernandez is called "Keith Horrendous" on the golf course. He sucks.

In school he did better in geometry than algebra. He hated algebra.

Keith admires Carl Pavano's ladies man style.

After seeing Pavano's mustache, Keith decided he wants to try to grow a "3 Musketeers D'artagnan style mustachio."

Keith wants to hang out on the beach while in Puerto Rico for the upcoming Mets/Marlins series. Now I just ponder if he will wear a speedo?

In regards to the World Cup and Team USA vs Ghana Keith had to ask Gary "What are those horns called?" Gary informed Keith they are called VUVUZELAS.

While attending baseball games in his youth, Keith never caught a foul ball.

Keith has DIRECTV.

He has a hard time with the American League. He just doesn't care for it.

Keith wonders what happened to the Beastie Boys? He really enjoyed their first album. He also likes Collective Soul.

He's a stickler when it comes to making the bed. When he wakes up in the morning the first thing he must do is make the bed. To him, nothing is worse than an unmade bed.

Keith doesn't mind doing laundry or folding.

He can fix things as long as plumbing or electricity is not involved. If they are he calls a guy.

Keith goes up to his roof to clear leaves from his eaves twice a month. He admits, "It's murder."

He is good at spackling. First he uses a fine sandpaper, he's very meticulous and then it's time to paint. But he's "not too partial to painting." So he calls a guy. "I call painters to paint and primer."

When Keith was a kid he went wild on his swing set.

Keith loves good pitching. He "never cared for the homer era." It drove him away from the game.

Well now that was fun right. The final exam will be right before the all star break. Oh I'm just kidding. There's no homework or midterms and finals in baseball.

Tomorrow is another day. Niese help us to take this series! Please.

And Keith thanks for being goofy, we needed it today. Oh we did.

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