Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Movie "Dinner For Schmucks" Doesn't Star The Atlanta Braves, Seriously!!??

Game 2: Braves 4 Mets 0

Tim Hudson vs Big Mike Pelfrey

Reyes left the game in the top of the 7th. Proof again that you don't let a player play injured! The end result is never really worth it.

Today's game aired on FOX and the announcers viewers were forced to deal with were Kenny Albert and Kevin Millar. FOX also showed previews for the movie "Dinner For Schmucks" multiple times during the broadcast. Before I make fun of this film and such I do want to say that yes I do want to see it. I just have to admit that before I get on with doing a little mocking.

So in this movie Paul Rudd's character is asked by his boss to bring a schmuck to a dinner party. Simple enough of a premise. And well it appears from the trailers and promos that the schmuck is Steve Carell. Well during this horrible game this schmuck business made me think that this afternoon there were a lot of schmucks Paul Rudd could bring to dinner! His good buddy Joe Buck did not do the announcing today so he's officially taken out of this scenario but Rudd could sure bring Kenny Albert and Kevin Millar to dinner. Two schmucks for the price of one! Honestly I didn't mind Kevin Millar a week ago during the Strasmas game. He was actually a nice fit with Joe Buck in the booth. Kevin's very goofy and he actually had amused me. And I'm pretty sure he's a nice enough fella. He seems like a genuine guy. I consider him like a 5th string Keith Hernandez. He's like the D-List version of Keith in the booth. Yeah that works. But today he just didn't shut up at all and well Kenny Albert is such a dud that the combo was just schumckalicioiusly torturous to listen to. But I'll get to some of the crazy stuff Kevin said today in a bit! Yeah like I said he didn't shut up!

More schmucks Paul Rudd could bring to dinner are Chipper Jones, Omar Infante and Tim Hudson! Tim Hudson today pitched a gem of a game for the Bravos. 7 scoreless innings, 4 hits, no runs, 2 walks and 3 strike outs. Yeah he's a schmuck. Chipper returned to the lineup after being scratched from yesterday's game due to back spasms and well he seemed healthy enough at the plate and yes he's probably the biggest schmuck of them all. And that Omar Infante just again proved to naysayers like myself that he deserves to be on the all star team. So yes he's another schmuck. And well they weren't at Citi Field but we can add the Miami Heat to the schmuck list too! I would never leave LeBron James out of this schmuckity schmuck talk.

So this is my plan, I'm going to try to not use the word schmuck again since I have now probably typed it more times in this recap than I have in my entire life. I'm also going to quickly just get to the top of the 5th inning when the Bravos did their damage to Big Pelf and then we can laugh at all the things Kevin Millar said. That millar nonsense should cheer us all up somewhat! Here we go!

The top of the 5th, the inning that just sucked! Going into the 5th the game was tied 0-0 and although Pelf had struggled inning after inning he had gotten out of every jam he put the Metsies in. These were jams you did not think the Amazins were getting out of. The Bravos had bases loaded with no outs in the top of the 4th and the Amazins averted danger somehow. I know it was crazy. But that getting out of sticky situations business was not happening in the 5th. LARRY led off this inning with a single. Then the all star McCann singled. And Troy Glaus decided to be an ass and he singled too and the Braves took a 1-0 lead over the Metsies. So now there were men on 1st and second with no outs for Eric Hinske. He singled and the bases were now loaded for the Mets killer Omar Infante. He singled too BOOOOOO! McCann scored and the Braves were now up 2-0 over the Metsies. At this point Manuel took Pelf out of the game and Dessens was asked to stop the bleeding. Elmer could do no such thing. It was Saturday bloody Saturday. The first batter he faced with the bases loaded and nobody out was Escobar. And Yunel grounded into a double play but Glaus scored and the Braves were now up 3-0 over the Amazins. Then fricking Tim Hudson got an rbi double and it was 4-0 Atlanta, ugh. Prado then flew out and the inning was finally over.

But yeah the damage was done in the 5th and the Mets had no fight at all in them yet again. Even when they got the lead off batter on they would find some way to leave him stranded. The Metsies grounded into 3 double plays today. Yeah it was nauseating.

Oh and here are Pelf's stats from tonight. They are not pretty:
4IP 12H 4R 4ER 3BB 2K
Overall Atlanta had 15 hits today. But on the bright side of all of this terribleness Takahashi pitched great in relief! 3 innings (6th, 7th, 8th)of scoreless relief from the Good Takahashi was delightful! Nieve pitched a scoreless 9th too!

AND Wagner came in again in the 9th to prove how incredible he is this season. It was a non-save situation but yeah I don't blame Bobby Cox for bringing Wagner in. If you want the door shut on a possibility of a comeback you bring in Billy. Wagner retired Wright, Davis and Bay faster than you can say "Dinner For Schmucks" and the ball game was over. Atlanta has now won 4 games in a row and they've already won this series. Hopefully they won't sweep tomorrow. I'm going to be at this game and yeah I am fearing the worst...I don't like brooms one iota!

But I have to snap out of that pessimistic frame of mind and to do that I'm now going to attempt to make us all LOL with some Kevin Millar wisdom. Ok I guess wisdom is not apropos for Kevin but we'll stick with wisdom anyways.

Kevin enjoys saying "What a neat thing!"

He thinks no MLB-er was better than Frank Thomas in the 90's.

During his career, Kevin stunk it up against Tim Hudson. 1 for 8. He admitted he was pathetic.

Last year Millar hit a grand salami off of R.A. Dickey.

Kevin thinks Bay will have a big second half. I have said this too and yeah even after these last 2 games I still agree with goofy!

Millar said "Barajas is one of the slowest human beings in the league."

He thinks Cora doesn't make a bad play on the baseball field.

He called Derek Lowe a dizzy blond. Well he actually calls Derek Lowe "D-Lowe." But yeah D-Lowe's a ditz.

Kevin thinks the Braves will win the World Series. WTF right!!!?????

He said the following, "What those rbi guys do when they get a guy on 3rd base, they smell those steaks. It's like bbq-ing in the backyard." This was definitely an attempt to be like Keith Hernandez. And yes I did laugh at this.

Since Eric Hinske has won a World Series ring 3 years in a row, Kevin said flat out he'd take Hinske on his squad any day over Sabathia, Halladay or Pujols. He naively assumes if Hinske's on your team you win a World Series. If he ends up being right about the Bravos winning the World Series, then well I guess I'm the schmuck Paul Rudd is taking to dinner!

He couldn't pronounce Hisanori so he said, "We are going to be on a last name basis with Takahashi."

He gets ragged on all the time by players, "Hey media guy!"

When Kevin saw Santana today he congratulated him on his first career homer. He called Johan "Papi."

He whistled when talking about Tejada. It was like a cat call whistle kind of thing. And then he remarked that Ruben looks like he's 15. He added something like does he even have a driver's license and that he must take the bus everywhere. Yeah yeah we get it Kevin, Ruben has a baby face haha.

As of now Millar thinks the Cy Young winner in the NL will be either Ubaldo Jimenez, Roy Halladay, Adam Wainwright or Mike Pelfrey. Yeah he left out Josh Johnson and after the last couple of starts I think we know Big Pelf isn't getting the Cy Young. I just hope he can get that 11th win at this point.

And now to my favorite Millar moment! In the top of the 9th Kevin Millar busted out his Marv Albert impression. And I'll be honest it was dead on! He nailed it! To show off his impression he said the following: "Pippen and Jordan. That was Marv Albert's 'Patrick Ewing from DOWNTOWN' 77-76." Then he told Kenny he had wanted to do that all game. I am so glad he did! Kenny was not amused. But I was!

Oh this was funny too. Kevin called Billy Wagner "the little guy."

Well tomorrow is a new day. Santana put on a show because the Mets can't afford to get swept!

And the Metsies bats wake up! PLEASE wake up wake up wake up!

1 comment:

orstudents said...

Steve Carell isn't made for the big screen.