The below clip is absolutely hilarious. It sounds a lot like a Colbert Report interview, except Fernando Perez is the one in-character.
Great lines from my new favorite non-Met:
-You know where I got this s***? Modells. Modells!
-I want to make it rain... in the club.
-Denard Span, Twins guy? He's interning - unpaid intern at the WNBA