Bronson Arroyo Is Harder To Crack Than The Da Vinci Code

The Rubber Game: Reds 3 Mets 1

Niese vs Arroyo

Bronson Arroyo, Brandon Phillips and Chris Heisey hate Metsies fans. I think they do!

Sorry it took me so long to write this one folks. My computer again last night was being more of a drama queen than LEBRON James. It kept freezing, and then some weird blue screen with a lot of scary writing appeared. Yes it was not pretty but this morning it's behaving. So here we go!

Really there isn't much to say about this one except for the fact that Bronson Arroyo is just a puzzle the Mets can't seem to solve. He makes the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle seem ever so easy.

After last night's win Arroyo has a 7-1 record in his last 10 starts against the Amazins. Seriously!!! Yeah he does. I guess you can never trust a pitcher with "guitar player hair." Yeah Keith Hernandez and Gary joked about Bronson's lovely locks many times last night and that was kind of fun because this game sure was not. These are Arroyo's ridiculously good stats from last night:
8IP 1R 7H 0BB 3K 99 total pitches thrown

Brandon Phillips continued his Mets killing ways as well going 2 for 5 with an rbi double in the bottom of the 7th and a solo homer that tied the game up at 1-1 in the top of the 3rd. Phillips of course hit this homer and that fricking double with 2 outs. That seems to be a major problem lately with Metsies pitchers. They'll get the first 2 outs and then they just can't make that final out without some damage being done by the opposition. And this was the 2nd time this season Phillips has homered off of Niese. Yeah yeah I guess Brandon has Nieses's number, ugh.

And this Chris Heisey is possibly a future Metsies killer. Aren't you glad we have that to look forward to? Oh you aren't glad about this. Yeah I'm not either! Not only did Heisey rob Jason Bay of a hit in the bottom of the 6th. And oh he did. Jay Bay was up with 2 outs and Wright on at 2nd and Bay hit a long fly ball that clearly looked like it would give the Metsies the lead. It was a sure hit. But nope Heisey just like Dan Uggla of the Marlins and Josh Willingham of the Nationals wears a shirt around town that says, "My name is Chris Heisey and I crush dreams." He made a great running play, and he caught this ball all the way at the edge of the warning track and instead of the Metsies being up 2-1 the inning was over and it was still a 1-1 game. Then in the top of the 7th he really just had to prove how much he loves to wear that shirt of his. With one out Heisey homered and this gave the Reds a 2-1 lead over the Metsies. And this Heisey fella now has 5 homers in only 62 at bats. You think Dusty Baker would give him more playing time with those numbers right?

The Metsies only run on the board came from a 1 out solo homer by Angel Pagan in the bottom of the first. So the Mets took a 1-0 lead over the Reds in this one and although they were 20-2 when scoring first at home they just couldn't do anything else tonight against the Reds. After the bottom of the 3rd there was no commercial break because Gary and Keith were given this time to speak with Jerry Manuel. One of the questions they asked him was "Who on this team this year has surprised you the most? And Jerry said "Angel Pagan." Keith agreed with Jerry completely and he said Pagan's played like a "major league star." And yeah he has! Hernandez then went on to predict that with the return of Beltran to the Mets starting lineup it will be Francouer and not Pagan who will be losing out on playing time. But he still thinks Frenchy will start some games. "He's not just gonna sit there and rot." Yeah Manuel has a lot to figure out with his outfielders after this all star break.

And really Niese pitched fine last night but with Arroyo and the Reds closer Francisco "Coco" Cordero shutting down the Metsies offense he had no shot at getting his 6th straight win since returning from the DL. These are Niese's pretty good numbers from last night:
7.2IP 3R 6H 1BB 8K
In fact after his first time facing the lineup he had struck out 4 Reds! I rather enjoyed that! And he got a 1 out double in the bottom of the 3rd! It was a fan interference double but still a great double.

Ok now to the wisdom from the booth!


Dusty Baker is a good friend of Keith's.

In fact Keith calls Dusty Baker "Toothpick Charlie." You know that character from the movie "Some Like It Hot." Okay I honestly haven't seen this movie either but I've heard of it!

Keith never had a desire to go parachuting.

He thinks Bronson Arroyo has "guitar player hair."

After Gary mentioned that Arroyo can no longer play the guitar because he has carpal tunnel syndrome, Keith had no pity for Bronson and he said "You can't have carpal tunnel syndrome there are more important things!" I loled at how insensitive Keith kind of was. Yeah I guess I'm a little evil like that.

Multiple times tonight Gary brought up the LEBRON press conference thingy that airs tonight and these were Keith's reactions. He joked, "I can't sleep over LEBRON." I think he was kidding around??!! Maybe not?? And then he had also remarked, "Are they making a big to do about this or what!" And yeah they are but that's America. And now with this King James business I say the following folks:

“Where were you when LEBRON finally chose a team?” This will be the question people will be asking in years to come. And I guess the best answer would be “I was home watching ESPN. I was waiting on his every word.” At 9PM on ESPN tonight, King James will announce whether he’s staying in Cleveland, going to the Knicks, the Nets or well the Heat. Maybe the Bulls? Yeah it’s nuts!

Yeah I had no idea it would come to this. I had been joking with my Dad about how funny it would be if Obama was making a speech and that was interrupted by King James because well Lebron was going to make an announcement. And of course that would trump the PRESIDENT. Duh this is the biggest news story ever. But the kicker in my silly little scenario would be that Lebron would say the following “Folks this is very hard for me. It took me so long to make this decision. But I’ve made it. After much deliberation I’ve decided to dine at PF Chang’s tonight. I’m sorry fans of the restaurants The Cheesecake Factory, The Olive Garden and Ruby Tuesday’s but Chang’s is the winner. Oh and I’m still not sure what team I’m going to. But I’m eating at Chang’s tonight!” Yes that’s how my brain works.

I just wish SNL was airing new episodes now because I know they would have thought up a great skit based on all this LEBRON nonsense. And I call it nonsense because I’m being prematurely bitter that he’s not choosing my NJ Nets. I gotta be a realist about this. Since the Heat have nabbed Bosh how is LEBRON not going to join Wade and Bosh in Miami? If I was to wager money on this one my moolah would be on King James picking the Heat! Boo to that though, ick.

Btw how is this James press conference thingy going to work anyways? It’s supposed to last an hour right? Is he not going to make the announcement until like 9:55? It’s going to be like American Idol maybe? Lebron will one by one kick a team out of the running. Ok the NJ Nets you have been great but it’s the end of the line for you…and so on. Oye. And oh how many wardrobe changes will LEBRON make? Oh how I kid.

Well folks the Metsies have off tonight but we have this LEBRON announcement to look forward to!

And Friday is a new day. Hopefully my favorite pitcher R.A. Dickey can cool down HOTLANTA because I want him to get that 7th win of his already. And well I just want the Mets to beat those annoying Bravos! They are going into this series 3 games back of Atlanta so if they could take 2 out of 3 from the Braves that would splendid.

Btw guess who is going to see the Metsies/Bravos game this Sunday? I'll give you a clue her name rhymes with Manuel! Yes folks I'll be at Citi Field Sunday and it's "Jason Bay Bobblehead" day. Yeah yeah of course that excites me. Yay to bobbleheads! And it's a Santana vs Lowe pitching duel! Yeah that excites me maybe more than the Jay Bay bobblehead! It does. I hope to have great stories to write about...

Make it a great day folks!

Johan Santana Tells Jerry Manuel, "I'll Finish It!"

Game 2: Mets 3 Reds 0

Santana vs Maloney

I will shortly get to this "I'll finish it" business!

But first I've got to be honest right now folks. I wasn't home for most of this game. It figures I would miss most of Santana's first complete game of the season and his first complete game since September 27, 2008 (the Mets won 2-0 over the Marlins in that one and Santana was pitching on just 3 days rest and he had a banged up knee, amazin right!!). And BOO I didn't see his first career homer LIVE! See I was spending the day with a friend I haven't seen in forever and well yeah we had lots of fun, there was dim sum, ice cream, the Bodies exhibit at the Southstreet Seasport and yeah that's my deal. BUT I will have you know I rushed home once I got off the train and I got to my house just in time to catch the bottom of the 7th and well the rest of the game and the post game stuff. So basically I'm gonna try to do my best with this recap even though it will be lacking most of the shenanigans from the booth. I do have some Keith wisdom but not enough. I'm sorry about this. BUT I have a special commercial segment at the end that might make up for all of this. OH and Joey Votto finally decided to agree to our little deal about him sucking if I voted for him to get that final spot on the NL all star team. The 3 hits Johan gave up in this game, Joey didn't hit one of them, wahoo! I'm glad that Canadian finally smartened up. Canadians don't renege on deals! I don't think they do at least...

Ok here we go!

In the bottom of the 3rd (well I heard this during the post game with Carlin and Darling but yeah yeah let me get on with this) Gary had a premonition during Santana's at bat. He said, "One of these days he's gonna hit that big league homerun." And what do you know it took Santana 182 at bats to do what Gary predicted but Johan did just that and he homered off the foul pole and well that gave the Mets a 1-0 lead over Cincy! In the post game Carlin or maybe it was Ron I don't remember called Gary "Cohen-adamus." And Ron and Chris said that Santana was battling the pitcher Maloney like crazy. He was not hitting like a pitcher but like a #3,4, or 5 man. Yay JOHAN!

In the bottom of the 6th Jason Bay got a 2 run base hit and the Metsies were now up 3-0 over the Reds! With these 2 rib eye steaks Bay now has 13 rib eye steaks in his last 9 games. And 10 of these 13 rib eye steaks have come with 2 outs! In fact let's look at Bay's stats in the last 9 games:
H/AB 9/33
Avg. .273
XBH 4
RBI 13
Runs 5

Santana was cruising along in this game, well that's what Gary and Keith said when I finally got home to see the game. He was pitching a 2 hitter going into the top of the 9th. That's right Jerry was giving him the chance for the complete game! And I don't know about anyone else but yeah I did not want to see KRod pitch tonight. I didn't have it in me to see this game go to shit. Seriously could you imagine if I came home just in time to see that. Yeah that's just a thought I am so glad I don't have to now think about. Ok to the game. Votto was the lead off batter and well he stuck to our agreement and he grounded out to Reyes for out numero uno. Thank you Joey! Then that annoying Scott Rolen got a 1 out single and well I kept shaking my head and saying "Manuel don't you dare bring in KRod, don't you dare do it." And he didn't. Bruce was up next and this was just crazy. He popped up to shallow left Bay was there and he went oops. Jason is generally a great outfielder but yeah this time around the ball grazed his glove and well he just dropped it. So there was now 1 out and men on 1st and 2nd for that Gomes fella. And Jerry came out to talk to Santana. Again I said, "Jerry don't you dare take him out. Don't you dare do it." And it turned out Jerry asked Santana something like, "How are you doing, can you finish this game?" And Johan said "I'll finish it." Jerry then said, "That's good by me" (no no I can't read lips I know this is pretty much the exact mound convo that took place because Kevin Burkhardt interviewed Santana after the game and Johan told this story). Now Johan was ready to get this shizzle over and done with. On just 1 pitch he got Gomes to line out to Isaac Benjamin Davis! 2 outs! And then on just 1 more pitch that Drew Stubbs who was already 0-3 tonight went 0-4, he grounded a ball to Wright, Davey got Bruce out at 2nd and this game was over! OH YEAH Santana pitched a complete game, his 10th career complete game! Yay!

Let's look at Johan's stellar stats from tonight:
CG 3H 0R 3BB 5K 113 total pitches thrown

Ok now to some Keith and Gary funny business:

Keith said he always showers after the games. Gary does too. If he didn't his wife would kill him.

At one point Gary said to Keith "You sound like you are snacking?" And Keith denied he was eating. He's on a diet! And Keith said he ate enough today and in fact he ate way too much over the July 4th weekend and well he needs to hit up the gym tomorrow. Gary was so cute and he told Hernandez "You look great." Keith was then all no I do not Gary and in fact I'm riding the bike at the gym tomorrow.

Keith likes Kool And The Gang.

And now to the commercial segment of this recap. I'm kind of loving this new commercial that they have been airing on SNY for "PaintPlaceNY." Of course I love it, it stars Keith and some dude that isn't Gary Cohen. That's my only complaint.

This announcer with Hernandez should be Cohen, this old fogey is kind of terrible at his job but oh well. Keith says the following and it's awesome, "Another exciting win for the home team. Speaking of home my place looks amazing thanks to PaintPlaceNY. Hey I should be an interior decorator if I could just decide blue or butterfly kisses!"

"PaintPlaceNY a homerun every time!" Seriously I lol the entire time this ad airs. It's kind of amazing. I never thought Keith could top his work in Seinfeld or those "Just For Men" commercials but maybe with this one he did!

Well tomorrow it's up to Niese to continue to cool down the hot hot hot Joey Votto and the Reds! I think he can do it. I am all about believing in Jon. Let's go Mets!

In The Battle Of The Snubbed All Stars Joey Votto Reigns Supreme

Game 1: Reds 8 Mets 6

Pelfrey vs Wood

Pyrotechnics Night started early! By early I mean the 5th inning. I'll get to that shortly!

It was also Military Appreciation Night!

The starting pitcher for the Reds was supposed to be Harang but he was scratched from the game due to back spasms. These back problems are contagious, whoa! It seems to be the year of the back and thumb injuries in MLB lately.

I knew the Reds were going to be trouble and why did I have to be right! I'm usually wrong a lot and I was hoping I would be wrong to the nth degree tonight. But nope that was not the case and as Keith said during this game the fans "cannot always get what they want." And I say that's not fair Keith Richards Hernandez. Yeah Mr. Rolling Stones Song I wanted a Mets victorino and our snubbed all star Mike Pelfrey to pitch a great game! But boo to my dreams being crushed by Joey Votto.

With that being said I had a feeling Joey Votto would be a menace to Citi Field and gosh darn it my woman's intuition was on today. This is rare folks. I'm not proud of this. Earlier I actually voted for Votto to be put on the NL all star team. Yeah I agreed with Gary Cohen that Votto being snubbed was ludicrous so I decided I'll vote and I'll try to help the cause to get him the final spot on the NL all star team. He does deserve it. I can admit that. But I actually thought by me doing this whole voting thing maybe Joey would return the favor and stink it up tonight. I assumed my vote meant me and Votto had some sort of a deal. Well I guess we didn't or if we did he duped me royally. I've been had by a Canadian! Horrible.

Let me just get to this bummer of a game and especially the early start to pyrotechnics night (in the 5th inning)! And Keith was back! Here we go!

In the top of the 1st Pelf seemed to be cruising along, he retired Phillips and Cabrera pretty easily but then well Joey Votto was up. This was the first time he proved we had no such thing as a deal! The Canadian got a solo homer and his Reds had a 1-0 lead over the Metsies. After Votto hit this homer Keith pretended he was Pelf, he did a fake voice too and he said "He's so strong I guess I'll try to remember that..."

In the bottom of the 1st our Canadian tied this game up. You'll see how in just a second or two. With 2 outs, it was the 10th pitch of Wright's at bat, Davey had been battling Wood like crazy and David proved why he's an all star and he singled! Keith after this 97th hit of the season for Wright said, "When you are hot you are hot. Isn't that a Ray Steven's song?" And Gary said, "Yes it is. He's a funny guy." If Ray's so funny I could have used him to entertain me after this game! Anyways back to the action. After Wright's delightful single, Isaac Benjamin Davis also singled and it was time for Canadian BAY-con to do his thang! According to some stats I saw today during his career Bay has played his best ball against the Reds. Who knew? Check out these amazin numbers: .342BA, 21HR, 70RBI. And this time around Jay Bay proved that those numbers don't lie. Bay singled, Davey scored and like I said our Canadian put us right back in this ball game, 1-1 EHHHHHHH yeah! Bay now has 42 rib eye steaks this season and he had 11 of those rib eye steaks in the last 8 games! Go Canada!

While I'm on the topic of our Canadian there was a new Metsies commercial for Mets.Com on SNY starring Bay. It's an ad to get fans to come out to Citi Field. "Better seats, lower prices direct from the Mets. Direct from the source." Bay is wearing sunglasses in it, and he looks kind of silly.

I'm sorry Jason but those sunglasses made me laugh. But this was good I needed to get a few laughs in because I had no idea what I was in store for. Wild shit was soon going to go down. Oh it was. I'll just add this in Jerry Manuel gets ejected. But we are getting to that in just a moment.

And to pyrotechnics night in the top of the 5th. Brandon Phillips led this inning off with a single. Cabrera also singled. Then Votto was walked and there were no outs and the bases were loaded for Scott Rolen. Get ready to say FUCK folks! The home plate ump called strike 3 on Rolen, he said Scotty foul tipped it, Barajas held onto the ball and it was the first out of the inning. This call immediately brought Dusty Baker to the field. Dusty said Scott Rolen was in fact hit by the pitch (supposedly his forearm got nicked) and there was no foul tip action. Well this led the umps to huddle up and they did something I did not think was in the rule book. They changed the home plate ump's ruling and they decided to say Rolen was in fact hit by the pitch and this meant with the bases loaded Phillips would be walked in, he would score and the Reds now regained the lead over the Metsies 2-1. Gary and Keith at this point counted down the seconds until Jerry Manuel would get ejected. I did too.

He fought for his squad out there and Jerry made me proud. He had to get this ejection to ignite his team. Yay Manuel! So now there were still no outs and the bases were loaded for Gomes. He lined out to Tejada for out numero uno YAY! Then Big Pelf struck out Bruce, 2 outs YAY! But then that Drew Stubbs who had hit 3 homers against the Cubs yesterday was up. Earlier I was watching "Pardon The Interruption" on ESPN and Bob Ryan (Tony Kornheiser had the day off) was talking to Mike Wilbon about Drew Stubbs and Mike admitted he had no idea who Stubbs was. Well I'm sure Drew will be known after these last 2 days by all baseball fans (well those that at least watch ESPN). On an 0-1 count to Stubbs ball 1 was called and Pelf flipped out. He was pretty sure it was strike 2 as did Keith, Gary and myself but it didn't matter what we thought. This call by the ump made Pelf just lose it and the Reds just piled on the runs. Stubbs doubled and the Reds lead was 4-1 over the Mets. Keith at this point said this was a "funny inning." Oh yes I was laughing, NOT. I assume Keith meant funny strange. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Then Corky Miller who has the funniest name and the best mustache in all of baseball doubled. The Reds were now up 6-1 over the Amazins, ugh. And the big WTF moment was now about to happen. The pitcher Travis Wood tripled. Yes if you haven't said FUCK a few times already during this recap say it now, I give you permission to do so. This triple scored CORKY and the Reds lead was 7-1 over the Mets. Wood was the last batter Pelf would face and Jerry brought in Valdes to face Phillips. I guess it was good Tatis was put on the DL today and Raul was recalled, ugh. Valdes got Brandon Phillips to ground out and the side was finally retired and this horrid top of the 5th was finally over YAY!

In the bottom of the 5th the Mets showed once again when shit hits the fan they are resilient and they fight on back. The lead off batter was Angel Pagan and he allowed me to say one of my favorite things ever for the 5th time this season "It's back back back it's PA-GONE!" Keith didn't say this but he remarked, "That was no field mouse homerun!" With this Pagan bomb the Metsies were now down just 7-2. And they would continue to chip away at this lead! After Tejada grounded out Wright tripled! Then Isaac Benjamin Davis dribbled on up the 3rd base line, Wood couldn't handle it there was no play to make (he was charged with an error), Wright scored and the Mets were now down 7-3. Bay then flew out. Ok maybe those stats from up above do LIE, oh well and there were now 2 outs and Ike was still on at first for Frenchy. And Wood walked Jeff, yay! But Dusty Baker decided Frenchy would be the last batter Wood would face and he brought in the reliever Jordan Smith to face BRod. Barajas who was super pissed from the overturned Rolen call in the top of the 5th took his aggression out on the ball and singled! Ike scored and the Mets were now down by only 3 runs, 7-4! And then "Mr. I love to get hits with RISP" Alex Cora did just that, he doubled, Jeff and Rod scored and this game was a game again! The Metsies had cut the Reds lead to just 1 run, 7-6. This was awesome. Then Jesus Feliciano was the pinch hitter and he popped up and the inning was sadly over and Alex was stranded at 2nd.

In the top of the 6th Forgotten Fernando was back! Nightly Nieve made an appearance and well that meant Joey Votto would prove how much he deserves to be in the all star game yet again. With 1 out he homered, his 2nd of the night and the Reds lead was now 8-6 over the Metsies. Gary then shouted, "Think he's an all star? YEAH!" And Keith remarked, "He's so strong. Good kid too." Yeah yeah good kid. A kid who owns the Metsies behinds, sheesh. I knew at this point Votto and I had no deal! I was certain of it.

Well this homer by Votto sucked but what didn't suck in this top of the 6th was Gary telling us fans that Halladay pitched a complete game and the Phils won 3-1 over the Braves. Yes I know I hate to root for the Phils but in this series I mean we have to right?! Well at least that was my plan. I would cheer on the Phillies, they would win and the Mets would win and well gain a game on the Braves. But nope the Mets didn't understand my plan I guess. They didn't get the whole we need to win too part of it, ugh.

Nieve despite giving up the Votto homer was pretty dynamite tonight! He retired the next 8 batters he faced! In fact he fanned the side (Bruce, Stubbs, and Miller) in the top of the 7th. That was splendid!

So the game was still 8-6 going into the bottom of the 9th and the Mets had a chance to tie this one up. Francisco Cordero the Reds closer gave up a 1 out walk to David Wright. And usually when a closer walks a batter in the 9th that's trouble. Or at least that's what KRod has taught us. And he taught us wrong. Closers can get out of jams after walking a batter, who knew?! Cordero got Ike to pop up and it was all up to Bay. And with 2 outs and Wright on at first Jay Bay flew out to that annoying Laynce Nix and this game was over, and the Reds won. And I'm sure many Metsies fans did not want to stay for Pyrotechnics Night after this game, ugh. Keith said "I'm booking after this one. I'm outta here."

Well before I end this recap let me get to some additional funny moments from the booth because we need to laugh. This game was just not pleasant.

Keith said he had a wonderful 4th of July. Everyone in Sag Harbor had a smile on their face. Keith too had a smile on his face the entire weekend! Well I guess he didn't watch the Strasmas game!

Like I said before Corky Miller has a great stache.

Keith said he liked it too and Gary replied, "I didn't think you would. It's not quite up to your Carl Pavano standards." I don't know what Cohen is talking about. This mustachio is crazy good! But of course to pull it off your name has to be as comedic as CORKY Miller.

At one point Keith said, "I will expound after this pitch..." I don't remember what he expounded on but I just liked hearing him use the word EXPOUND.

Keith in the 4th inning or so noticed men walking on the roof of Citi Field.

This shocked Hernandez. He had no idea people would walk on a roof in a middle of a game. Gary informed him that they must be doing this in preparation of pyrotechnics night. This led Keith to EXPOUND on some wisdom his father once shared with him. Papa Hernandez said, "Tell people you are rescuing in a fire 'Don't look down.'" Yeah that advice kind of had nothing to do with these men on the roof since there was no fire but it is good advice I guess if there was a fire.

Then Gary and Keith talked about death. The camera man got a great shot of the Brooklyn Bridge and Gary asked Keith, "How many people died building the Brooklyn Bridge?" Keith had no idea and Gary said maybe 40. Keith then was all "I'm from the West Coast and a lot of people died building the Golden Gate Bridge!" Then they both agreed this was a wonderful topic to discuss and they laughed. Oh Gary and Keith...

Well that's it folks. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully Joey Votto can stick to his deal with me. I mean seriously is it that hard to be a Canadian who can't hit. Jason Bay can teach him a thing or two. That was evil of me. Yeah I don't mean that about Jason I'm just pissed from this game and that call in the top of the 5th. I'll try this nice outlook thing again, take two. Tomorrow is a new day and Santana will be on the mound! Do your thang Johan! Let's go Mets!